FAMOUS SNARKY LINES OF MY SISTER

1. "I'm so glad you quit SMOKING!"
   
   By the way, the act of quitting smoking she was talking about was when I was a teenager - a full 20 YEARS prior.
   
   Backstory: Never coming up to me privately, intimately and telling me this. No - she trumpets it to anyone and everyone in her living room that day in ~1983 while we all were enjoying a child's birthday party. My two aunts and I were conversing together about cooking or some recipe we tried and liked, and Nancy barges in to our space, interupts us to say..... what? that she loves that recipe too!? No. That she has a recipe she wants to share with us? No. She bellows out in an embarrassing too-obvious fashion that, "I'm so glad you quit SMOKING!" Are we being a little too obvious? Are our attempts at making Beverly look bad a little too obviously self-serving.
   
   My aunts and I just gawked at her! None of us could figure out her timing! LOL!



2. "We have the things that money CAN'T buy" Backstory:



3. "I don't feel any affection for her. Not one iota" Backstory:

I am so disgusted with my sister!

Why? Because of her passive aggression. Because she is a walking Hallmark Card. Because she lies to herself. She actually BELIEVES the spin, the hype that she puts out. The well-placed oh so sincere-looking little smile, the appropriately timed mouth agape face, the rolling eyeballs, the overly-dramatic frown, her thin constipated lips either in a smily-face pose or pursed tightly - all in an obvious attempt to sway people, to register HER imperial view on a given subject, AND to use these silent tactics to sway her targets to her side. These are all non-verbal communication techniques that passive agressive people employ. And because these techniques are so silent, so visceral - they can be powerful. They are sneaky some would say. How she appears to her peeps and the world around her is BY FAR more important than basic virtues. Like respect, sincerity, honesty, compassion, tolerance, love. Like many people of her ilk, she will emphatically tell you, "Of course I love you - you're my sister!" But her actions speak louder than her words. Her actions show her true colors. She has no ability to see things through other people's eyes. She's always right - even when she knows she's wrong. She cannot admit to breaking any moral, spiritual code. She's always right and when she's not, it someone else's fault that she got it wrong. The incident where she wanted to surprise Mom for her birthday. She slipped up on the phone at the end of a phone call between her and Mom, when she said, "OK see you on the twenty fi..r.........." CLICK! She abruptly hung up. Her daughter confirms this interchange when Mom called her, and was asking, rather forcefully, if her mother was planning a visit. I remember some of Nancy's responses, "Well I didn't mean to." "And if I did do it, I didn't mean to." "So she knows??" "you told me you would keep the secret!" Aside: HUH??!!!

It's spooky sometimes - the lack of basic knowledge of right and wrong behavior. And what to do when you're busted. Hint: It's not what you're doing now.

MORE TO FOLLOW.

My Piece of Work "Sister"

My mother is terminally ill. My sister is out here from Butt Crack, Arkansas to help me care for her. She had planned a two week Hawaiian vacay before she learned early this year

Well I had a blind date last night. Oy Vey. Can you spell DISASTER? He expected me to pay half! I just thought that was wrong, wrong, wrong! There were one of two things going on: He either felt as repelled by me as I did by him, OR, he is one miserable unit. We didn't talk - I talked. Rather I blathered. This guy did everything he could to not talk about himself. I didn't realize how much of a disaster it was until I got away from him. More later....

Bridal Websites

Real Housewives of NYC

I watched the RHONY last night. I have to say that Ramona really impresses me these days. That lady has her act down!!!! She listens and she acts. She listens and she acts. Like a well-oiled machine. Especially this last epi. I admired her "handling" of the girls. I admired how she doesn't seem to take things personally. She isn't defensive - she is offensive at times! She gets her point across and she shuts up. And she listens. She picks her spots. She isn't intimidated. She has said and done some outrageous shit, but then she coos, and sits on your lap, and puts her arms around you, and calls you honey and sweetheart, puts her cheek against your cheek, says she's sorry...... and viola! she's back in good graces!

The way she fed Jill her lunch just amazed me!! There wasn't an undue amount of stammering and fumbling - she just cooly looked at Jill and said....... nothing! It was genius.

Compare this cool customer to Kelly and her verbal diarrhera. She's insulting and agressive. She comes unglued (for whatever reason), and gets even nastier when she's busted. People start to hate her. She talks too much - she digs deeper and deeper.

Ramona is insulting and rude, but she's cagey about it. She does it in an "innocent" fashion. And when people react, she's like a deer in the headlights. Moi???!!!! I didn't mean anything bad! Combine that act with her generosity, her hospitality, her willingness to do anything for anybody, her leadership in having parties and taking care of people. It's a killer act!!!!

She's always watching. I never dreamed I would have this attitude toward Ramona, but the lady has it together. Give the devil her due.

Well my sister, and I use that term loosely, was here visiting from AR. I have seen her 5-6 times in the last 20 years and each time I see her, I am creeped out by how cold and closed up she is.

I could on and on about how just plain wrong this person, and I use that term loosely, is. Wrong in that she is deficient in manners, character, class, honesty, loyalty, fairness, common sense, tolerance of any form, open mindedness, and brain waves.

I could feel more sorry for her than I do, but that is a dangerous concession when it comes to an individual like her. In spite of all her shortcomings, she possesses what a lot of backward people possess: an uncanny ability to deal rather effectively with the world using animal instincts, dirty tricks, and knowing how to show boat and grandstand like a carnival barker. There is very little, if any, real genuine honesty when she is in the company of others, even her own disfunctional clan.

Enter my mother. Oy vey. After my sister essentially bitchslapped my mother and moved 2000 miles away, there has been a slow but unmistakeable transformation in my mother. My sister "showed" my mother. "Take THIS" kinda thing. My sister took her 3 unenlightened, rude, low-class, ill-mannered spawn with her of course, depriving my mother of her grandchildren, such as they are. In my mother's eyes, my sister was always incompetent and stupid, which is actually the way it was and still is. Now, however, my mother has idealized my sister. It has been progressing over the years. My sister handed her her lunch (punishment) and my mother acts duly contrite. It drives me mad.

The tiniest bit of news is trumpeted and heralded (to me mainly - o joy). If my sister manages to walk and chew gum at the same time, she makes sure my mother knows about it and my mother falls all over herself with admiration. Can you stand it??? My sister deliberately and without a valid reason deserts my mother, talks to her on the phone maybe once a month, doesn't call her on Xmas, visits once every 4-5 years.

Heavy sigh ......................................