Online dating and me

Well match.com....  I have never met such a group of losers.  I'm sorry, I am picky, but the sorry bunch of men I've met should be quarantined. 


I feel sorry for some of them.  They just don't get it. 


One guy who lives in Goleta, CA and is a retired military officer, thinks if he fills his house with toys that he will attract people.  He drives a new sexy black sports car, but he has the personality of a garden slug.  I could have overlooked the "trying too hard" home décor, but this guy actually thought giving me his best "stern military officer" look with his aviator glasses on was a good opener.  I wanted to say, "you're kidding right?"  I didn't.  He was a total and complete turn-off.


Another guy, after I met him once, would call me up crying because he couldn't find his keys..... Ooooooooo Kaaaayyyyyyy. :|   Way to make a good impression Romeo.


Another guy is, in my opinion, a misogynist.  I can only hope other women read this.  So far, this man I've reported to the Health Department, and the community pool where he floats his oozing, herpes-riddled junk all over.  Don't accidentally swallow the water!  Chlorine may or may not do it - I dunno.  He gets as many women as he can into bed, WITHOUT telling them he has herpes.  He rushes it - hoping he won't be asked "the hard questions."  A lot of women find out AFTER, and are furious.  He thinks he's a medical brain, and pooh-poohs their concern.  He volunteers all this to me!  Then he mocks my concern by emailing me an article that states genital herpes can morph into HIV.  I have also forwarded this to the Health Department.


More later......  and yes I hope these men read this!

Match.com Men

Match.com men. Where do I begin? Been on Match for 2 years or so. I have been out with A LOT of men. My advice: Women of Santa Barbara, CA! Make sure your guy DOES NOT have herpes! Most (YES MOST) of the guys I have met have self-disclosed that they have genital herpes. They believe that if they are not having an outbreak (oozing, pus-filled blisters on their genitals - lovely), that they are not contagious. W R O N G ! ! So they f*** whomever will let them, spreading this viral disease (no cure) far and wide. My doctor says that STD's are occurring in epidemic proportions. All people who are herpes positive should be on anti-retro-virals (Valcyclovere), but most are not. If they were, the medication cuts down the contagiousness to almost nil. In Santa Barbara, CA, I have found that the over 50 crowd are usually the worst. They hope that women won't want to have "the talk" BEFORE sex. They try to hustle you into bed on the first or second date, and if they succeed in accomplishing this "conquest", then they may tell you. I have found that these men are not interested in marriage, long-term committed relationships, patience. They know that if they reveal too much about themselves (herpes) before sex, any woman in her right mind won't want to touch them with a ten foot pole. And their childish, conquest-seeking buffoonery is foiled. Another problem is that a lot of online daters are just odd. One guy thought it would be great first date fodder to tell me that his ex-wife didn't taste good "down there." HUH???!!!!!! Another guy showed up for our first date hungover. He didn't speak but boy he wanted to see me again. Uh - no. I mean what do these men think? Another guy, a famous actor actually, thought it was acceptable on our first date to tell me that he was constipated, and tried finding a bush (in the parking lot of one of our favorite seafood restaurants) to take a shit behind!! I kid you not. These three guys all have herpes. Unfortunately, I have mostly horror stories. And I'm a beautiful woman.

My house remodel and AN UPDATE

I'm remodeling my house since January of this year.

I've fallen in love with one of the Mexican guys working on my house.  What to do?  He's not married.  He's younger than me.  I don't want to date him necessarily - just see him and get to know him.... ahem. Oct. 2013 Wow! What a ride. I became quite emotionally unhinged by this sweet little man. I see him very seldom, maybe once a month or so.

Ex Step Son

For all the ladies out there who are considering marrying someone with children - DON'T. For the most part, not always, but for the most part step-children are a sure fire way to:

• have a heart attack/stroke


• break up/divorce


• go to prison for life for murder

In my view, unless the kids are infants (3 weeks or less), or grown and living in another country, or on Mars, RUN!

The man you are marrying will usually have guilt issues for ending up divorced from the kids' mother. These guilt issues will ruin the kids, you, anyone who loves you/care about you, your relationship. It is invariably a toxic situation.

The kids usually never cease from wishing their parents would get back together, and they end up resenting YOU. Not always of course - there are exceptions. But for the most part, you can't win.

My beautiful mother died June 1, 2011

FAMOUS SNARKY LINES OF MY SISTER

1. "I'm so glad you quit SMOKING!"
   
   By the way, the act of quitting smoking she was talking about was when I was a teenager - a full 20 YEARS prior.
   
   Backstory: Never coming up to me privately, intimately and telling me this. No - she trumpets it to anyone and everyone in her living room that day in ~1983 while we all were enjoying a child's birthday party. My two aunts and I were conversing together about cooking or some recipe we tried and liked, and Nancy barges in to our space, interupts us to say..... what? that she loves that recipe too!? No. That she has a recipe she wants to share with us? No. She bellows out in an embarrassing too-obvious fashion that, "I'm so glad you quit SMOKING!" Are we being a little too obvious? Are our attempts at making Beverly look bad a little too obviously self-serving.
   
   My aunts and I just gawked at her! None of us could figure out her timing! LOL!



2. "We have the things that money CAN'T buy" Backstory:



3. "I don't feel any affection for her. Not one iota" Backstory:

I am so disgusted with my sister!

Why? Because of her passive aggression. Because she is a walking Hallmark Card. Because she lies to herself. She actually BELIEVES the spin, the hype that she puts out. The well-placed oh so sincere-looking little smile, the appropriately timed mouth agape face, the rolling eyeballs, the overly-dramatic frown, her thin constipated lips either in a smily-face pose or pursed tightly - all in an obvious attempt to sway people, to register HER imperial view on a given subject, AND to use these silent tactics to sway her targets to her side. These are all non-verbal communication techniques that passive agressive people employ. And because these techniques are so silent, so visceral - they can be powerful. They are sneaky some would say. How she appears to her peeps and the world around her is BY FAR more important than basic virtues. Like respect, sincerity, honesty, compassion, tolerance, love. Like many people of her ilk, she will emphatically tell you, "Of course I love you - you're my sister!" But her actions speak louder than her words. Her actions show her true colors. She has no ability to see things through other people's eyes. She's always right - even when she knows she's wrong. She cannot admit to breaking any moral, spiritual code. She's always right and when she's not, it someone else's fault that she got it wrong. The incident where she wanted to surprise Mom for her birthday. She slipped up on the phone at the end of a phone call between her and Mom, when she said, "OK see you on the twenty fi..r.........." CLICK! She abruptly hung up. Her daughter confirms this interchange when Mom called her, and was asking, rather forcefully, if her mother was planning a visit. I remember some of Nancy's responses, "Well I didn't mean to." "And if I did do it, I didn't mean to." "So she knows??" "you told me you would keep the secret!" Aside: HUH??!!!

It's spooky sometimes - the lack of basic knowledge of right and wrong behavior. And what to do when you're busted. Hint: It's not what you're doing now.

MORE TO FOLLOW.